The Wit's Guide to Frolic

Or, call them detours

Don’t frolic a comeback, T.W. Ingermill, 1903

Frolic is someone else’s idea of fun. If these others are children or animals, we look on approvingly. But if it’s another able-bodied adult, we generally sneer. When a sentence begins with “While you were out frolicking…,” it’s not going to end anywhere nice.

“One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.”
— Jane Austen

Frolicking is energetic loafing, and thus even worse than merely idling about. If you’re loafing, you may charitably be thought of as recharging your batteries in eager anticipation of more work. But if you’re frolicking, you are expending energy on … what? Nothing? It’s more energetic than a dawdle, for no reason. It’s one springy step away from cavorting and soon you’ll be carousing.

“It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all.”
— James Thurber

Do you remember “World’s Largest Metaphor Hits Iceberg,” the 1912 Onion headline about the Titanic? The 1812 battle between HMS Frolic and the USS Wasp might qualify as the second-best naval metaphor. When a ship named after energetic loafing goes up against one that summons to mind the stern Protestant work ethic, one guess as to which vessel prevails.

“Pleasure is more trouble than trouble.”
—Don Herold 

Surely someone will make the case for frolic. Frolicking often happens in meadows; perhaps it helps the wildflowers spread their seeds? There is a modern argument in favour of play, of frolic, of recreation, but naturally it’s based on the idea that it helps us be more productive. To admit that is cutting off your nose to put it back on the grindstone.

“Idleness is only a coarse name for my infinite capacity for living in the present.”
— Cyril Connolly

In 1834, a horse-and-cart injured a pedestrian on the streets of London. The vehicle was being driven by a servant, and that servant’s employer successfully argued in court that his driver had strayed from his appointed tasks and was thus personally at fault. The resulting principle in tort law is called frolic and detour: If the employee is taking a detour on the way to his job, they’re still working and the company is on the hook, “but if he was going on a frolic of his own, without being at all on his master's business, the master will not be liable.” 

“Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.”
— Evelyn Waugh

And here we find the key to a good frolic: Call it a detour. Why, look what my layman’s jurisprudence uncovered: “Increasingly, courts require nearly total abandonment of the assigned task to support a finding of frolic and detour.” 

Your Worship, it is true that I was caught splashing about in the sunshine, but I assure you I was en route to a grueling task. 

Were you or were you not romping about without a care in the world?, you might be asked by opposing counsel. (Again, not a lawyer. Without prejudice!). 

Oh no, you must respond. I was deeply concerned about my serious responsibilities. This was simply a minor detour. 

And with a crack of the gavel — or, in Canada, an auspicious raise of the judge’s left eyebrow — you are hereby exonerated. Get back to work! But be sure to take the long way!

“If you are foolish enough to be contented, don’t show it, but grumble with the rest.”
— Jerome K. Jerome

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Crypto-Hominid Corner

Welp, the April Riposte Cards have been riposted, sent everywhere from the Australian outback to the peaks of Pickering. And now we can look to May, when illustrator Graham Roumieu will present Riposte Card No. 3, a limited edition high-quality postcard mailed with love to the paying subscribers of this newsletter. Graham’s gently demented oeuvre features several memoirs of Bigfoot, the shy sasquatch who has so much to teach us if we would only listen:

"Think outside box. Lose ten pound. Learn speak the French. Ballroom dance. Demonstrate superior knowledge of fine wine at dinner party in charming non-pretentious manner. Be Oscar Wilde of woods. It so hard. Brain size of apricot."

I love where this is going! Sign up today to receive Riposte Cards 1, 2, and 3!

Riposte Card No. 2: Bedroom brevity!

Riposte Card No. 1: An inconvenient adventure!

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Quote Vote

The thought of not working really energizes, doesn’t it? There is something in the nose that loves a grindstone. And yet…

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That was Get Wit Quick No. 198, and I know what you’re thinking: Did you time the 200th issue to coincide with the coronation of King Charles III? Well, let’s just say that when I started this newsletter in 2019, I didn’t not think of that. Elements of Wit: Mastering The Art of Being Interesting is a frolic you can own. Don’t go too far out of your way to tap the ❤️.