Riposte Card No. 19: Outside Offense!

Or, Fran Lebowitz by Melanie Lambrick

To paraphrase the great R.E.M. song Stand:

Fran in the place that you live
Now face north
Think about discretion
Wonder why you haven’t before

When I reached out to the excellent Canadian illustrator Melanie Lambrick to create Riposte Card No. 19, she immediately asked to take on a quip by Fran Lebowitz. My super-fast suggestion:

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about wine.”

To which Melanie responded “Very good, but my favourite?”

So I went over to the display case and heaved down all the classics:

“The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”
— Fran Lebowitz

“Food offers the perfect excuse to use the good dishes.”
— Fran Lebowitz 

“Polite conversation is rarely either.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

“Sleep is death without the responsibility.”
― Fran Lebowitz

“I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.”
— Fran Lebowitz

“There’s no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn’t be lovelorn.”
— Fran Lebowitz

“Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

“If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

All solid! And we landed on:

“Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one’s home.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

Let me here stress that neither Melanie nor I have taken any money from Big Tobacco for this card! And herewith, her obligatory Riposte Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

Washi tape. I'm an addict.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

Old art books, vintage kid's books, the library, thrift stores, Criterion and, I admit, Pinterest. 

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

Really anything Fran Lebowitz says. She's my hero and I love her.

What's the best thing to put on toast?

Butter, jam and brie. Bonus points if you substitute a croissant. 

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

I like my lyrical illustrations. I’m working on some paintings and a kid's book that's super fun. In terms of support, I am always desperately looking for a patron. Really. Rich people want to support the arts, don't they? If I had a patron I could follow my full creative potential and it would be amazing, I'm sure. I wonder if I should take out an ad?

Rich people! Subsidize Melanie via melanie.l.lambrick@gmail.com! And subsidize my ongoing subsidizing of Canada’s great illustrators — and get the above Riposte Card in the mail! — by taking out a paid subscription to Get Wit Quick!