Love and carbs: The two great subjects for art! And both are featured in February’s wonderful Riposte Card by Paige Stampatori, a conceptual illustrator from Kitchener, Ontario.

Paige chose to mark the month of chocolate hearts and hibernation by illustrating this quip by the ever-effervescent Anita Loos:

“And what, for instance, would have happened had Romeo and Juliet lived to middle age, their silhouettes broadened by pasta?”
― Anita Loos

Who was Loos? One of the Great Wits, and one of the very first subjects of this newsletter:

To receive Paige’s spaghetti-crossed lovers in the mail, upgrade your subscription below. And here are her answers to the Riposte Card Questionnaire:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
A good pen, always!

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
For inspiration, my burner Instagram account where I follow a bunch of fashion designers and small creators. For information, Twitter, embarrassingly.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
Everything happens for a reason.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
Butter, or Nutella, or one on each piece if you’re having two.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
My editorial illustration work is what I’m most proud of, and people can support it by following me on Instagram (@pagestamp) or just checking out my website once in a while.

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Each month, I commission a new illustrator to create a postcard with the quip of their choice to send to my lovely paying subscribers. I always offer up a selection of lines but encourage the artist to BYOB, where the last B stands for “bon mot” and the first B stands for “bring.” Happily, Montreal illustrator Pierre-Paul Pariseau came to play with this line:

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you. No matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big because to them, all of it has always been big stuff.”
— Catherine M. Wallace

And naturally, M. Pariseau chose to interpret that thought with a flying fish. It’s an indisputable fact that his surreal collages fit the tenor of the times. To receive his psychedelically profound postcard in the mail from me, upgrade your subscription below. And here are P3’s answers to the Riposte Card Questionnaire:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
A notebook.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
Books, I’m a big reader…. And a bit of the Internet.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
Let’s look in my current notebook. The choice is very difficult. Let’s take that recent one I noted : “I have never thought of it as a career, but only as a destiny.” Unfortunately I have not written where that sentence comes from, which is rare.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
Honey and bananas.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
To have survived as an artist, an illustrator.

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When I approached Silas Kaufman to illustrate a Riposte Card, he immediately suggested this line:

“Every man should pull a boat over a mountain once in his life.”
— Werner Herzog

With the proviso that “It’s not the wittiest quote, but I like that he says ‘once.’ I also like that he did just this. I also like that he's Werner Herzog.”

And I like Silas Kaufman, Alberta illustrator and frontrunner for Most Interesting Man in Calgary. He’s illustrated Ludwig Wittgenstein’s Philosophicus Logicus Tractatus, has a whole series of Old Skater portraits, and please check out his amazing answer to the final question below:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
A Platinum fountain Carbon #ec45e4 or if that's not available (and it likely won't be) a bottle of Black Take - Sumi Iroshizuku ink.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
Mad magazine’s usual gang of idiots, David Levine, Roz Chast, Joe Ciardiello, Jack Unruh, the city streets, thrift stores, cinema, books, boxing gyms, skate shops, my family and friends.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
Fromager d’Affinois Le Campagner

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
All the hundreds of portraits I drew of inmates in youth prison that they then sent home to their families. In Canada you can’t have your picture taken in jail, so for some families the only image they could get of their child serving a prison sentence was a drawing. I should clarify that for 13 years I was a relief teacher at a local prison where I honed my portrait drawing skills. I had a rule: If you were working in class I’d draw you while you worked. This kept the class somewhat peaceful and the kids appreciated the drawing. If you want to support this, sign up to volunteer at a local public school if you can. I do it twice a week under my former principal from the youth prison.

Hooray for all of the above! Subscribe today and I’ll send Kaufman’s card to you via the Fitzcarraldo mail ship.

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How unbelievably on the pinched nose was it that this was the Riposte Card for November 2024? In a month of electoral rude awakenings and postal strikes, the scatological storm blew at full force. Like the man says:

“Life is a shitstorm in which art is the only umbrella.”
— Mario Vargas Llosa

Matthew Daley, the artist of the above Llosa riff on fecal weather patterns, initially had a short list of three quips to illustrate, the other two being

“The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
— Eden Phillpotts, specifically referring to the splendour of the buckbean.

“O misery, misery, mumble and moan! Someone invented the telephone.”
— Ogden Nash

I’m glad he went with the rudest of the three, both because it fit the moment and because his sketch promised such glorious chaos:

Here’s a bit more about this wonderful Toronto artist:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
Lettering stamps, especially sans serif.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
I’ve built up a nice collection of picture books, comics and art books that inspire me quite a bit when I'm stuck.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
As my good friend C. Smaloochi says “One can either produce or become produce.” I need to take that more seriously sometimes.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
Raspberry jam reigns supreme.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
My book Assorted Baggage, which was released by Black Eye Books in 2022. You can purchase physical copies at The Beguiling in Toronto or the digital edition at this link.

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There is a duality at play in October’s Riposte Card. You see, the line that illustrator and printmaker extraordinaire Sandi Falconer opted to illustrate was as follows:

“If you wait long enough, nothing will happen.”
— Jack Gardner

But then, if you read Sandi’s Riposte Questionnaire, her favourite aphorism says that something in fact does happen:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
Black markers.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
Books, signage, packaging, the record store, tv, movies, Instagram, newsletters. Inspiration is everywhere.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
Shit happens.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
Salted butter.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
My new series of monoprints called Gut Feelings! They are each inspired by records in my collection and printed in my home studio. Check them out on my website: www.fountainsprintshop.com

So perhaps nothing happens until shit happens, so we might as well enjoy the wait.

The other question raised by October’s Riposte Card is this: Who the hell is Jack Gardner? A British author, aphorist, and in 20 Riposte Cards, the first quipper of quips with whom I’ve ever exchanged emails. What does it mean, I asked him. His response:

“If an aphorism needs explanation it is a bad aphorism.”
— Jack Gardner

He also told me that “A pretty problem can be more attractive than an ugly solution,” and sent along this sketch:

Onward we trudge! Trudge with us and get the above card mailed to your home, office, post office box, or any other address you so desire!

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To paraphrase the great R.E.M. song Stand:

Fran in the place that you live
Now face north
Think about discretion
Wonder why you haven’t before

When I reached out to the excellent Canadian illustrator Melanie Lambrick to create Riposte Card No. 19, she immediately asked to take on a quip by Fran Lebowitz. My super-fast suggestion:

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about wine.”

To which Melanie responded “Very good, but my favourite?”

So I went over to the display case and heaved down all the classics:

“The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”
— Fran Lebowitz

“Food offers the perfect excuse to use the good dishes.”
— Fran Lebowitz 

“Polite conversation is rarely either.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

“Sleep is death without the responsibility.”
― Fran Lebowitz

“I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.”
— Fran Lebowitz

“There’s no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn’t be lovelorn.”
— Fran Lebowitz

“Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

“If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

All solid! And we landed on:

“Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one’s home.”
— Fran Lebowitz  

Let me here stress that neither Melanie nor I have taken any money from Big Tobacco for this card! And herewith, her obligatory Riposte Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

Washi tape. I'm an addict.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

Old art books, vintage kid's books, the library, thrift stores, Criterion and, I admit, Pinterest. 

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

Really anything Fran Lebowitz says. She's my hero and I love her.

What's the best thing to put on toast?

Butter, jam and brie. Bonus points if you substitute a croissant. 

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

I like my lyrical illustrations. I’m working on some paintings and a kid's book that's super fun. In terms of support, I am always desperately looking for a patron. Really. Rich people want to support the arts, don't they? If I had a patron I could follow my full creative potential and it would be amazing, I'm sure. I wonder if I should take out an ad?

Rich people! Subsidize Melanie via melanie.l.lambrick@gmail.com! And subsidize my ongoing subsidizing of Canada’s great illustrators — and get the above Riposte Card in the mail! — by taking out a paid subscription to Get Wit Quick!

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They say the Germans have a word for everything, but in this case I already had the words. Specifically, I had this great quip from the French essayist Joseph Joubert:

“Misery is almost always the result of thinking.”
— Joseph Joubert

To create the 18th Riposte Card, I reached out to Karsten Petrat, a profoundly talented illustrator and designer of German extraction who toils happily in the city of Toronto.

He got it immediately in one of my favourite visual puns to date: Being stuck in your own head is miserable.

Even worse: To have to play a decapitated game of golf atop said head.

And here’s his obligatory Riposte Questionnaire:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
A pencil and an eraser.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
I love going into vintage stores. I can explore all the random items that my mind can circle back to when trying to come up with new ideas.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
I am German, Germans do not make jokes.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
I would rather not comment on this hot topic in a society that is already full of division.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
The work I still like to look back on is a stop-motion animation I made in university of a pencil erasing itself. It embodies the torment of an artist's mind... or perhaps its beauty? You can find it on the About page of my website, splitintoone.com. It’s not for sale, but since you’re already on my site, feel free to click on the Contact page to say “Hello.”

Become a paying subscriber and I’ll send you the above Riposte Card in the mail! Misery not included.

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“I always fear that creation will expire before teatime.”
— Sydney Smith

This clever artwork by illustrator Nicole Iu will ring true to anyone who has ever scaled a giant cup of tea:

I’ve always liked the line because it juxtaposes the horrific with the humdrum, accurately pointing out that the end of the world will inevitably arrive after one meal and before another. But Nicole ran with a more fanciful interpretation: The fear of running out of creative energy before the day is done. Here are her preliminary sketches:

And here’s her obligatory Riposte Card Questionnaire:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

I have to say — the colorful pens! I'm obsessed with them, you'll find at least one hiding in every purse I own. I can spend so much time in different stationery stores, checking out all the cool pen colors, thickness and textures. It’s like a treasure hunt for new brands that you can’t find anywhere else. They're so versatile, playful, and just unleash your creativity freely. You can grab a pen and just start drawing anywhere.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

There are many things I would do when I am in a creative block. However, I found myself whenever I needed a boost of inspiration, I love taking little trips or getaways to explore new neighbourhoods and soak up nature’s vibes. You'd be surprised how much everyday life, or new environment can spark your imagination and fuel your creativity.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

I used to always tell myself, “That’s impossible!” or brush off encouragement from others about my dreams. But then, this wise old man at the bakery where I worked in high school changed my perspective. He asked me about my future aspirations, and when I said I wanted to be an artist but felt it was impossible, he then flipped over his receipt and wrote “IMPOSSIBLE” on a receipt, then flipped it to show me that it could also read “I’M POSSIBLE.” As an ESL student, that moment truly inspired me, and I've lived by that ever since!

What's the best thing to put on toast?

Hands down, herb and garlic cream cheese! I could seriously eat that every day.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

I have some products available on my Etsy but I’m really proud of this everyday tote bag I designed called “Take it Easy.” Living in Toronto with all the crazy traffic, I wanted to create a reminder for everyone to just chill and take it easy on the road. :)

Tote bag: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1300851760/tote-bag-take-it-easy?ref=SellerDashboard

Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/nicart_15/

And of course, if you’d like to receive Nicole’s postcard in the mail, subscribe!

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I met Jason Logan at my first real gig in journalism, a summer internship at Saturday Night magazine. He worked with the iconic Leanne Shapton in the art department, livening up the gloriously large pages of the weekly magazine with his clever line art. He went on to creatively direct all manner of publications, and most creatively campaigned to be the creative director of the city of Toronto. (Sadly, you needn’t spend much time in this town to realize the position doesn’t exist.) And now he’s become the reigning world champion of natural pigments, earning the title Wizard of Ink from The New York Times.

So I was tickled not pink but a natural rubicund magenta when the proprietor of agreed to become June’s Riposte Card Artist. He quickly chose this excellent quip from my hand-curated selection of illustratables:

“Pleasure is more trouble than trouble.”
— Don Herold

(Who, you might wonder, was Don Herold? My favourite type of quipster, a third-string newspaper columnist of the golden age of print, the sort who, in the words of Don Marquis, mastered the craft of “stroking platitudes until they purr like epigrams.” Perhaps most famously, he proclaimed that if he had to live life over, he would pick more daisies. His long out-of-print books include Drunks are Driving Me to Drink, Doing Europe, or Vice Versa, and My Compassionate Goldfish, and among his other bons mot are “Babies are such a nice way to start people” and “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.”)

Logan offered up a series of “existential-minimalist lineart” on the quip, all as simple and profound as Herold’s line. First there was this cat, whose gaze suggests she has deeply internalized the wisdom:

Then there was this literal packaging of the two items, titled Nightstand:

After that, Logan simplified pleasure and trouble into two clever icons, with a character making the wrong choice:

From there he went back into the animal kingdom for the runner-up Riposte Card:

And then there was the winner, the heart that isn’t quite sure it wants what it wants.

Add a sublimely inky gradient and print it on premium linen and you’ve got June’s Riposte Card, three copies of which were mailed out earlier this month to paying subscribers of this newsletter.

Dear reader, if you made it this far, it would be my absolute trouble and no pleasure at all to send you this excellent limited-edition artwork. Just subscribe below at any tier and I’ll send a scribbly heart running your way.

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Was there a better-named writer in the last century than Muriel Spark? With a moniker like that, she’s in a nominative determinism tie with Quentin Crisp.

And so it was a pleasure when Gwendolyn Le Cunff, Montreal illustrator and tattoo artist, selected the following quotation to be May’s Riposte Card:

“Without an ever-present sense of death, life is insipid. You might as well live on the whites of eggs.”
— Muriel Spark

The line comes from Memento Mori, one of Spark’s early books that has a morbidly delicious plot: One by one, a group of elderly friends and acquaintances gets a mysterious call with a simple message — “Remember you must die.” In other words, memento mori. Police are called, reactions differ, and (spoiler alert), death comes for us all.

Here’s the full quotation from the mouth of her character Henry Mortimer:
“If I had my life over again I should form the habit of nightly composing myself to thoughts of death. I would practise, as it were, the remembrance of death. There is no other practise which so intensifies life. Death, when it approaches, ought not to take one by surprise. It should be part of the full expectancy of life. Without an ever-present sense of death life is insipid. You might as well live on the whites of eggs.”

My Founding Subscribers received three copies of the winning card in the mail, and prints are still available to any naive souls who believe themselves immortal, provided they can pay up!

And here’s Le Cunff’s obligatory Riposte Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

I will literally look at everything and spend so much time there, but I guess the brush pens and/or the cardstock paper.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

One thing I like to do when I'm not working on a specific project is to go down the Wikipedia rabbit hole, starting with a random subject and following along the different links. Otherwise, going to the arts section of a bookstore is always fun (and dangerous for my wallet).

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

I found it in a fortune cookie and it stayed with me: “He who hurries cannot walk with dignity.”

What’s the best thing to put on toast?

My adult answer is salted butter but my childhood answer is butter and cocoa powder.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

I am starting to work on more projects in editorial illustration and really love it, so I hope I'll keep having more of them! In parallel, I started a journey in tattooing and it makes me think differently about what to draw, which is inspiring.

So if you need an editorial illustration or feel like getting inked, hit me up :)

And here’s the gorgeous book jacket for the 1964 U.S. edition, by the way:

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Jamie Bennett, the Toronto illustrator and ceramicist, saw me coming 1.6 kilometers away. When I asked her to be April’s Riposte Cardist, she had a quip ready to roll:

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
— Dorothy Parker

And in addition to the bluetiful artwork above — my choice by the Al Jaffeesque nose on the murderess — Ms. Bennett offered up this excellent alternate artwork:

My Founding Subscribers received three copies of the winning card in the mail, and prints are still available to those needing discouragement!

And here’s Bennett’s obligatory Riposte Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

I love Frixion pens because I mess up a lot and they’re erasable and don’t get your hands dirty. I also am prone to buying good looking sketch books but then I find them intimidating and put them away in a drawer.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

For inspiration I don’t really have one source. I do read a lot of fiction and non-fiction books, but also film can inspire too. Also just keeping your mind open to everything while walking the dog, grocery shopping, other boring things that have to be done, etc.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

“I loved Mad magazine as a kid. I especially loved Al Jaffee’s  “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” All of those sarcastic jokes work for me.

What’s the best thing to put on toast?

The unhealthy peanut butter on toast.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

Right now I am totally smitten with ceramics. People can support me by following my Instagram. @jamiebennetttorontoceramics and maybe purchasing a thing or two.

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It’s rare that a Riposte Card hits the note of the month so perfectly, but Laurna Germscheid’s riff on a classic Emily Dickinson poem captures the cheerful sunshine mixed with existential dread of the Northern Hemisphere’s preempted winter.

If I shouldn’t be alive
When the Robins come,
Give the one in Red Cravat,
A Memorial crumb.
— Emily Dickinson

Three prints of this beautiful postcard were sent to my Founding Subscribers, but Memorial crumbs are still available to new subscribers!

And here’s Germscheid’s obligatory Riposte Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

Sketch books. A new sketchbook is always very exciting so even if I'm not quite ready for it, dreaming of filling a new sketch book and making it my own is fun and motivating. 

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

Inspiration I can generally find anywhere. Walking everywhere is good.  

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

“If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like ‘hey look, he's carrying a soldering iron!’ and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, “that's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.” Then everyone would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.”
— Jack Handey

What’s the best thing to put on toast?

Fresh tomatoes with garlic, salt & pepper, and olive oil. Which is funny cause I'm not a big fan of tomatoes.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

Still working on this....but all of the art that went into the Birdsafe UofT initiative and the custom window film designs I'm currently working on make me happy. I'm also working on a new piece inspired by natural burials and will be incorporating linocuts for the first time which is very exciting so I hope that in a month or two this will be my new answer but you never know. Probably not. Oh, and I’m a mom so there is that!

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Whenever I commission a Riposte Card — and it’s been a full year now! — I try to offer my illustrators a quip relevant to their interests. Happily, animator Isaac King took me up on the offer with this line:

“The doodle is the brooding of the hand”
— Saul Steinberg

King looped in some of Steinberg’s trademarks — the toothy gator, for one — as well as a smattering of his own broodables, including climate change, tech addiction, diminishing resources, and playground equipment.

But who is Isaac King? What makes him tick? How many of his family members are paying subscribers of this newsletter? To get to the bottom of questions adjacent to these, I sent Mr. King the following questionnaire:

What’s your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
I’m a brush-pen guy, so I like to try a few out. Also spiral-bound sketchbooks.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
I feel inspired when I'm exploring urban nature along the lakeshore or up the Humber River. Also at libraries, art galleries, and animation film festivals.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
Everything in moderation, including moderation.

What's the best thing to put on toast?
Peanut Butter, with banana or Gochujang.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
My ecological animated films (watch them at isaacking.net), and my work with the Toronto Animated Image Society, an artist-run charity that supports independent animation (donation welcome at tais.ca)!

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James Braithwaite is an Oscar-nominated illustrator, animator, writer, tea-towler, newsletterist at The Bathwater, and creator of January’s Riposte Card, which riffs on this excellent joke:

“If you can’t beat ‘em, arrange to have them beaten.”
— George Carlin

We can all agree that the Bill and Ted franchise would be immeasurably poorer without Carlin. Subscribe via the button below to get these adorable eggs mailed to your house this week!

Here’s a look at Braithwaite’s drafts, as well as a meta sketch he shared with me and that I’ll share with you, because that’s how this whole darn human comoedy keeps perpetuating itself.

And here’s his Obligatory Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

I am a complete sucker for buying new sketchbooks. I have to tamp down the growling desire to buy new ones, because I have a looming stack that is threatening to fall and squish me. 

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

I have always been hesitant to absorb too much inspiration. I worry if I go around ambiently hoovering up inspiration, it will inveigle itself into my work without me realizing. I wonder if that's creatively cramping my own growth, but it has worked so far. I have recently, however, broken down a few drawings of illustrators I really admire (thinking Searle and Scarry at the moment) to absorb how they approach a scene and shift my literal and figurative perspective. 

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

Live by. No. But one I would get tattooed on my leg? Maybe. . 

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana" Groucho Marx

What's the best thing to put on toast?

My friend once asked me why I was being so stingy with the butter on my toast. "Pretend you are French. Put it on like a slice of brie," he said. My life, and my arteries, have never recovered from this comment. 

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

This is a tough one. I find that as soon as I have finished a work of anything, I immediately forget about it and move on. This has not helped me in the marketing department of my career. So, I think I'm most proud of what I am working on right now. I'm making a series of kid's books with my friend José Lourenço and running a fledgling arts and comics school for kids called Hot Pizza, with my friend Julia Dault. They can support it by going to Hot Pizza Studio, and signing up for a class, or buying a tea towel, totebag, or other such nonsense on my site and keeping me in butter. 

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We should all resolve not to make resolutions, and has the perfect prompt. Riffing on diarist James Agate’s 1942 resolutions:

1. To refrain from saying witty, unkind things, unless they are really witty and irreparably damaging.

2. To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

… she combines the satisfaction of setting a goal for personal improvement with the joy of throwing such goals into the wind. Of course, you ought to recycle where facilities exist.

Ani’s Riposte Card was sent to paying subscribers in December, but there are still a few left for those who show the resolve to act NOW!

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Of course I love that illustrator Maxine Kryzaniwsky worked my book into her riff on Virginia Woolf!

Woolf’s line originally appeared in her 1925 essay “How Should One Read a Book?” as follows:

The only advice, indeed, that one person can give another about reading is to take no advice, to follow your own instincts, to use your own reason, to come to your own conclusions. If this is agreed between us, then I feel at the liberty to put forward a few ideas and suggestions because you will not allow them to fetter that independence which is the most important quality that a reader can possess. After all, what laws can be laid down about books? The battle of Waterloo was certainly fought on a certain day; but is Hamlet a better play than Lear? Nobody can say. Each must decide that question for himself. To admit authorities, however heavily furred and gowned, into our libraries and let them tell us how to read, what to read, what value to place upon what we read, is to destroy the spirit of freedom which is the breath of those sanctuaries. Everywhere else we may be bound by laws and conventions — there we have none.

The Riposte Card for November 2023 bubbled through a few incarnations, all featuring a young reader repelling the suggestions of a well-meaning adult.

To acquire prints of the finished artwork in convenient postcard form, subscribe today!


And here are Maxine’s answers to the Obligatory Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well stocked stationery store? 

Post-its! I think I use them almost as much as my graphite pencils. 

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information? 

For inspiration, quite honestly, anywhere and everywhere. Neighborhood walks, conversations with friends & family, watching a good movie, life moments, reading a good book, seeing a squirrel do its thing, etc. If I connect with something, or something catches my attention and then nudges me creatively, I'm inspired. As for information, my favorite source is still the good old fashioned book format haha. 

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by? 

A new one for me, in personal practice, but a very old one for many: KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid; or [insert whatever S-word you like]. Sassy? 

What's the best thing to put on toast? 

Good question! Either a smidge of butter with a nice drizzle of honey, or I do love sliced avocado with a bit of cracked pepper and a teeny pinch of salt! 

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it? 

That's a hard one to answer but my favorite moments are when I have done an illustration that brings a smile to someone's face or gives them a good chuckle. There are no prints or purchase ready items available at the moment, but I am open to inquiries about work if there is something someone really loves. Just email me. Also, you can follow me on instagram for updates on new projects and events that are coming up and/or happening in my illustration world. You can follow me at: @maxkbzy

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Amy Noseworthy came to play. Wordplay, specifically in response to my standard query to the illustrators I approach to draw the monthly Riposte Cards I send out to my top-tier subscribers.

“Do you have any great lines you’d like to draw?” I always ask, before sharing a list of my faves.

To which she responded correctly: “I’ve been keeping a commonplace book for years and your email feels like the perfect opportunity to go back through it and mine it for a perfect witty quip…”

Amy offered up these lines:

“We cannot stay home all our lives, we must present ourselves to the world and we must look upon it as an adventure.”
— Beatrix Potter

“We need in every bay and community a group of angelic troublemakers.”
— Bayard Rustin

“All the miles of a hard road are worth a moment of true happiness.” 
—Arnold Lobel

And then these from “one of my favorite poets, Andrea Gibson”

“When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.”

“I have never met a heavy heart that wasn’t a phone booth with a red cape inside”

“I know you think this world is too dark to even dream in color, but I’ve seen flowers bloom at midnight”

That sent me to do some enjoyable browsing of Gibson’s work, during which I underlined this gem:

most people try hard
to do good and find out too late
they should have tried softer.

And you can see above where we ended up. Here’s a bit more about Amy:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
This depends on the season… In the spring I’m all about markers of various types and tips. In the summer I usually resume my search for the perfect purple pen (0.5mm nib, a purple closer to blue than red. Surprisingly difficult to find!). In the fall I find myself putting up a supply of beautiful woodcased pencils, and in the winter it’s whichever beautiful notebooks and sketchbooks catch my eye.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
I mostly draw inspiration from my everyday life, which is surprisingly rich with antics. 

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
“If you don’t know where you’re going, stay where you are”
… from the movie Boys on the Side (1995)

What's the best thing to put on toast?
Cheese. Any kind will do, but an old cheddar or a creamy havarti ideally.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
I make webcomics about my life as a parent and about my painfully awkward social interactions, and sometimes the state of the world, available on Instagram or the platform of your choice, via linktr.ee/hiredhandstudio

In addition to being one of the most prolific wits of the twentieth century, Rebecca West was one of the most consistent. Here’s what she wrote about feminism in 1913:

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.”

And here are her thoughts on the subject in 1970:

“There is, of course, no reason for the existence of the male sex except that sometimes one needs help with moving the piano.”

She needed that piano for the music, as per the quip that illustrator Anjali Chandrashekar chose to illustrate for September’s Riposte Card.

Anjali is an Indian cartoonist and illustrator based in New York, and I commissioned her based on seeing this single cartoon of hers in The New Yorker:

And here are Anjali’s answers to the traditional Ripostal Questionnaire:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?
I love MUJI pens and buy too many of them. Also, nice notebooks, but if they’re too nice, I’ll never use them.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?
NYC! Although there is plenty of inspiration everywhere if you look close enough. I love to people-watch and observe their quirks. I surround myself with funny people, and that makes for entertaining interactions. I also rely heavily on all types of podcasts to help me keep abreast of what is happening in the world.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein. 

What’s the best thing to put on toast?
Avocado? Eggs? Lately, I've enjoyed whipped ricotta with honey/berries. 

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?
That’s a hard one. I am particularly proud of my first New Yorker cartoon (The Fitted Sheet) since it is SO hard to land a cartoon in print. I currently sell prints of my illustrations and soon my cartoons. They can be found on my website — anjalic.com

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Related Reading

We all imagined Waldo to be miserable. Thanks to Eugenia Viti, we know for sure. For August’s Riposte Card — the 6th in the series of specially commissioned postcard art prints for paid subscribers of Get Wit Quick — Eugenia opted to illustrate this funny-because-it’s-true quip:

“If you are foolish enough to be contented, don’t show it, but grumble with the rest.”
— Jerome K. Jerome

Which immediately prompted the question: What did the K stand for? And the answer is Klapka, a variation on his actual surname Clapp.

And which then naturally leads to the query: Did he ever meet Ford Madox Ford? In my brief search for satisfaction on this note, I found Wikipedia’s List of People With Reduplicated Names, which includes this excellent poem:

Mutual Problem

Said Jerome K. Jerome to Ford Madox Ford,
“There's something, old boy, that I’ve always abhorred:
When people address me and call me, ‘Jerome’,
Are they being standoffish, or too much at home?”

Said Ford, “I agree;
It’s the same thing with me.”

— William Cole

Eugenia’s first sketch didn’t include Grumpy Waldo, so I was thrilled to see his inclusion in the final postcard.

Ms Viti is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and the author of Be Pregnant: An Illustrated Companion for Moms-to-Be. Here’s absolutely everything else you need to know about Ms. Viti, and remember that all of this will be on the test:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store? 

Precise V7 fine rolling pens. I love to draw with these even though they aren't really drawing pens, they have secret powers. 

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

Inspiration comes often from a conversation or seeing something funny. Like those giant water bottles we saw all of a sudden early this year.  It's fun to find patterns in things, but it can really come from anywhere. Information, I like to take deep dives into books with one theme in mind, like the book Breath by James Nestor. I think it does the brain good to get into deep thinking when so often our modern world pushes us quick “Likes” (which I also am into). 

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

My high school AP English teacher asked us the first week of senior year. My quote was, “You gotta live like you’re on vacation” by the band KISS (from the song “Lick it Up”). I remember her saying something along the lines of that being a dangerous idea, but I still appreciate the sentiment. 

What's the best thing to put on toast?

This one is really where the truth comes out. There’s so many delicious and amazing things to put on toast and currently I’m very hungry and almost 7 months pregnant so it's a bit of a difficult question. I think that if I take this question seriously, what is really the best thing? Obviously butter.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

I'm very proud of my book, Be Pregnant: An Illustrated Companion for Moms-to-Be! Please support by purchasing a copy. 

The Riposte Card for July — an illustrated quip mailed in limited quantities to paying subscribers — is by , fellow Substacker and the first in a trio of New Yorker cartoonists I ably recruited by looking through a recent issue and sending a few emails to the artists behind my favourite drawings.

With each commission, I offer the artist a selection of quips in my capacity as witticism sommelier. Erika requested something about the creative process, and we decided on this gem:

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable.”
— Octavia E. Butler

Here’s more about Erika and her process:

What's your go-to item in a well-stocked stationery store?

Any and all graphite pencils!

I used to be insecure about not having a professional art background, so I'd invest in so many random tools, but I have very much come back around to the glory of simple pencils.

I really love the diversity of experiences you can have between various pencils:  The grades of graphite, the eraser's type and shape, and even the aesthetic design of the pencil itself.

Where do you go for inspiration and/or information?

I find a lot of inspiration through intimate conversations with friends. 

I love friendly debate and playful banter. I'm a classic overthinker and I get very bogged down without regular discourse.

Other than that I love any museum visit. It helps me to feel even further connected to humanity and others. 

It's like an intimate conversation with (sometimes) dead people, haha.

Is there one joke, witticism, or aphorism you live by?

I wouldn't say I live by this joke, but it's been on my mind a lot recently. 

It's a Looney Tunes joke where a vampire turns into a bat, so Bugs turns into a baseball bat, then the vampire puts on glasses and says, "You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you?" Then Bugs hits him anyway.

I know, it's so random, but my favorite jokes are often extremely silly — like, stupid, but genius.

What's the best thing to put on toast?

Butter and blackberry jam. Extra everything.

What work are you most proud of, and how can people support it?

My art career feels like a bit of a blur at the moment, but I am currently very proud of my Substack newsletter!

Growing up I always got positive attention for my drawings, so it took me a long time to realize that I enjoy writing just as much as drawing.

My Substack is a cozy blend of cartoons, humor, and writing. 

It reminds me of the illustrated books I used to compulsively make as a kid, so it comes quite naturally.

You can support my Substack by subscribing! 

Shit for Breakfast

A bi-weekly selection of drawings, comics, works in progress and behind-the-scenes from a New Yorker cartoonist doodling her way through life. Newsletter released on Monday mornings.

By E. Sjule

Or — if you're feeling extra spicy you can become a paid subscriber and I will piddle with joy and appreciation (and possibly even pay a bill!).